Today’s word boys & girls:
Codependency
He told me today about how his mother calls him every morning with some story about his sister. She’s typically done something that’s selfish, self-centered, blames his mother for things that go wrong, and expects his mother to always, always, always be there to pick up the kids, take the kids, parent the kids, etc.
He laughs.
I shake my head. My response, “I guess that’s something I’ll never understand.”
He says, ‘What’s funny is one wouldn’t be able to function without the other. My sister (she’s in her mid 30s) needs my mother to do everything for her. And my mother needs someone around to do things for.
Let’s allow this to marinate for a moment.
I knew there MUST be a name for this type of relationship. And I KNOW the way they function MUST have an impact on him and how he interacts with me, his daughters, his ex, etc.
Codependency
Here’s the thing…my family and I are so on the total opposite side of the spectrum. We are dysfunctional in our own right. We are so not dependent on each other that it can sometimes be to our own detriment.
Point is…I keep wanting to find a way to resume this relationship once I’ve moved. I don’t want to just give up, knowing that there are married people who have weathered worst storms. But the more I look into the very things that make us tick, I’m analog and he’s digital.
I’ll be transparent for a moment as well…I’ve been thinking about being single, living with just my son in a new city. There’s a part of it that excites the hell out of me, but then it scares me as well. I don’t like starting over getting to know someone new. Yes, when things click it can be exciting and fun. But when date after date is someone who makes you wish you were home under the covers watching reruns of just about anything, then it’s not so fun. The latter is what my life had been like for almost 13 years before meeting him. But I’m also not someone to be in something, anything, just for the sake of being there. Sometimes I have to get uncomfortable to see just what I’m made of. And after this, I don’t need to think about being in anything with anyone, just work and finish this paper.
So yeah…those are today’s thoughts and that’s all I have to say about them.
justanilltowngirl 